MIAMI GARDENS — It takes some doing if, while playing in a secondary that includes Storm Duck, you have a name that stands out.
Meet Major Burns.
And get ready for a surprise.
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Chances are, if the name Major Burns rings a bell, it’s not in a football sense, but for the character portrayed by the late Larry Linville in M*A*S*H, one of the most-acclaimed TV series of all time, and the late Robert Duvall in the film of the same name. So upon learning that the Miami Dolphins have a first-year player named Major Burns trying to make the roster as a safety, the automatic assumption is that his parents were fans of the show, which ran from 1972-83, or the film.
“I don’t know a lot about him,” Burns (the football player) said Monday, Aug. 17 following another practice under a scorching sun. “I get that question a lot, though.”
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It turns out that Burns actually knows as close to nothing about his fictional namesake as you can get.
“I haven’t seen M*A*S*H,” Burns said.
Not even once?
“Not even once.”
Maybe it’s just as well. Major Frank Burns is best remembered for his longstanding affair with Major Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan. Judging by his bumbling ways in the operating room, he would have made a horrible safety.
This Major Burns played in United Football League
The football-playing Burns, on the other hand, is a 6-foot-2, 209-pounder from LSU who wasn’t drafted but spent time with the Chicago Bears last summer. He joined the United Football League’s Houston Gamblers this past spring and had 45 tackles (10 solo) and eight passes defensed. He led the league with four interceptions and made the All-UFL team.
The UFL experience, he said, helped him in “getting that swagger back,” although that wasn’t his only focus.
“I didn't want to harp too much on the NFL because I felt like I owed it to my team to just be present,” Burns said. “So just staying down, you know, taking it day by day and just showing why I deserve to be back at this level was a big thing for me in the UFL.”
It has made for a busier 2026 for Burns compared to most players in NFL camps. He’s not complaining.
“It’s definitely my second season,” he said. “This is a blessing, dog.”
Burns played 30 snaps in the preseason-opening loss to Washington, making four tackles. He was singled out by coach Jeff Hafley for his tackling.
Although Burns can’t claim any connection to the TV character, there is a story behind how he got his name. The inspiration was Major Applewhite, the former Texas Longhorns quarterback and current coach at South Alabama.
“My mama went to a Texas A&M game (vs. Texas) when she was pregnant with me,” he said. “And she heard his name through a loudspeaker and she told my dad it’d probably be a cool name. She wanted my name to sound good coming out of a loudspeaker. I guess she knew I was going to be a football player, right?”
It sure beats being tied to the least-popular surgeon in Korea — if, that is, football’s Major Burns ever catches up with the fictional Major Burns.
“I’m going to make that an assignment of mine to go watch,” he said.
Hal Habib covers the Miami Dolphins for The Palm Beach Post. He can be reached at HHabib@usatodayco.com.
This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Post: Miami Dolphins have Major Burns at safety who's never heard of M*A*S*H